Why do we say thank you?

Teaching our children to say please and thank-you has been very important to my husband and I.

Recently, our nine-year-old daughter rolled her eyes at me with that "I know, I know" look on her face when I reminded her to use her manners.

It occurred to me that I didn’t want her to be saying it just because I told her to or because I expected her to.

So I thought about it for a while. Why is it important for us to say please and thank you?

For me, it all comes down to showing my respect and appreciation.

At a very fundamental level, when I say thank you, I want you to know that I see and value you as a human being.

I also want it to show that I notice and acknowledge that you’re doing something that you don't have to do for me. Even if you’re just doing your job, I want you to know that I appreciate what you’ve done. And I say thank you, regardless of whether it was a small, seemingly insignificant act or a grand gesture.

My mom used to ask me to help her peel potatoes for dinner. As a teenager, I would complain and argue, saying that it made no sense for me to help, as she was so much faster than I was.

She always persisted in expecting me to help, responding to my complaints by saying "for every one that you peel, that’s one less for me. It might not be much, but it helps me."

Likewise, no matter how small the effort, it makes a difference in my life.

So I choose to look you in the eyes and say "Thank you!" with a genuine smile.

(Originally published September 7, 2007 at iwasthinking.ca)