We are what we repeatedly think

(2007-09-01 09:38)

I have a quote on my bulletin board by Aristotle that says "We are what we repeatedly do".

Lately, I’ve found it more accurate to say "We are what we repeatedly think."

In general, I would describe myself as a driven and self-motivated person. At times, however, I find myself struggling, unmotivated and unfocused. I get stuck! Often when I’ve felt like this, I’ve figured out (eventually!) that something is going on in the situation that is pushing some hidden buttons that I have and activating fear.

All of us have beliefs (positive and often negative) about ourselves and about how the world works. It’s often hard to know where those beliefs come from - they may have been established so long ago that we don’t even remember them.

They might be from our parents, from experiences we had at school or with friends. Wherever they come from, they are so ingrained that we don’t even realize that we’re working from these assumptions - until something doesn’t feel right and we look deeper.

"Feelings are real, but they don’t always tell the truth." - Nancy Michel, psychologist

I now know that when I’m feeling stuck, I need to look for certain themes (whatever I do, it’s never enough; I’m not worthy of love; they’re not going to like what I’m doing) and coach myself through. Instead of allowing myself to think negative and self-destructive thoughts, I catch myself and replace those thoughts with statements that I know are true (I am worthy; I’m good at what I do; I know that I can do a good job). Even when it’s hard to feel these things are true , continually forcing myself to think them creates a new reality for me.

"Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right." - Henry Ford

I don’t always know where the negative thoughts came from - I’ll continue to think about that, but I may never know. I’m naturally a very analytical person, but I’ve come to realize that you can’t always think something through or understand it intellectually.

What I’ve learned is that sometimes I can just recognize the fear, acknowledge it and put it away - then replace those negative thoughts with positive beliefs and thoughts that I’ve chosen for myself.

And the more I think my happy thoughts, the more easily they come to mind.

My accepted reality is gradually changing - I am becoming what I repeatedly choose to think!

Eric (2007-09-02 13:56:47)
This is insightful and, even better, true!

Kevin Amboe (2007-09-03 22:04:39)
Insightful words. I like your closing statement. Kevin

pete reilly (2007-10-18 08:25:30)
Heidi, Well said. Our beliefs (however we got then) can influence how we experience our lives. Acknowledging and paying attention to fear without necessarily acting from it, helps us become less automatic and more deliberate. We choose rather than react. Finally, whatever we choose to think must come to action or it is "fools gold". We can think many things; but I subscribe to the original quote you offer, "We are what we repeatedly do." I use action as a filter when people talk. They may say they believe in something but their actions may not be consistent with their stated beliefs. I see their actions as what they "really" believe. Very thoughtful and thought provoking post. thank you, Pete

heidi (2007-10-23 22:48:56)

Hi Pete, Thanks for your comments! I agree that we have to walk our talk, and it takes practice and repetition to create consistency in our patterns. My first step in this, however, has been to consciously choose who and how I want to be - which is where the thinking comes in for me. I have to think about it, recognize what’s standing in my way (often fear of something - like rejection) and then choose to think in a different way - so that I can act in a different way. The thinking leads to the action of choice for me. Otherwise, I’m reacting, falling into old thought patterns and acting from a reactive place - which most often isn’t a very positive and happy experience for me (or the people around me!). In a way, choosing a new way of thinking is how I "walk my talk" - it is an action for me. Then hopefully the outwardly observable actions follow - like speaking with respect, valuing differences, being open to new viewpoints and collaborative solutions, creating relationships, etc... Thanks again for joining the conversation - you always make me think! Heidi

(originally published September 1, 2007 at iwasthinking.ca)